You know what? I had two years after I took the real estate class to take the exam… and here I am in the last few months studying like a crazy person. I’m not normally a procrastinator. It was something different this time… it was this fear of failure before I even began. I have been freaking out about the math part of the exam, not being able to memorize all the terms (there are hundreds) and basically everything else I could worry about I am. Not healthy. It all goes back to that dreadful test I needed to take to apply to business school (didn’t do great on it and never applied to an MBA), just thinking about that exam gives me a nervous breakdown.
Daily I’m telling myself “you are not stupid”… “you can do this”… “you are smart”… “you will be a great real estate agent”. I tell myself that I did fine in college (with a business major, so not completely unrelated) and that I was salutatorian of my high school class (and this is no harder than high school stuff… after all, I did okay in calculus…). Can you see that I’m trying to bolster my spirits here? :)
But here is what I’ve learned from the studying and having the disciplined time each day to study… I like learning this stuff. I’m certainly not an expert in it yet, and I am still freaking out about failing the exam, but I am starting to believe that I can pass. And starting to push out those lies that I have believed that I can’t pass. The business school exam was in the past. This is now. This is different, and far more interesting, material. And you know what? If I don’t pass this time then I am still smart. I can master the things I got wrong and I can retake it. It’s not the end of the world.
via from The Help
That’s all. :)
Here is a new photo of Drew that I took today after he was reading in his chair. Seriously, cutest thing ever.